Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
