oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
there is puke in my bra ... again
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