So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
