Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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