You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
