I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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