Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
