absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Are my feet made of real feet?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
