Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
