god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
there was a trapeze. enough said
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
