How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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