watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
