please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
