Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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