Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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