She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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