im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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