I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
