i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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