Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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