she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
