they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
bring money and cleavage
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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