i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
