Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
