Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
