i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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