May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
