Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
