I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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