If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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