Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'm just crazy horny about you
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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