Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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