is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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