great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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