Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Success! We fucked roommates!
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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