Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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