I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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