? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
