i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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