You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
