Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
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