is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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