This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
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