I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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