I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Randomize
