Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
