you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
