question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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