I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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