Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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