Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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