Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
She needs sedatives and a leash
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
soo... how was my night?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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