Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
