if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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