Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
