I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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